• Me: oh thats cute
• : *checks price tag*
• Me: no its not

traditional star trek episode

• aliens: [does bad thing]
• human: no!!!! dont!!!! [dies]
• ~to boldly go where no gay has gone before~
• kirk: captain's log stardate 666.66. things have happened. ive decided to go and beam down on the planet and get myself involved. i think im gonna wear my lucky rocket shit underwear today. kirk out.
• ~beams down with planet~
• mccoy: why am i even here no one has a paper cut can i go back to watching dr sexy md please kirk
• kirk: no
• alien: [hisses] go away
• kirk: no let me help u
• ~beep beep gay calling~
• spock: illogical. illogical. illogical.
• ~beep beep gay call ended~
• kirk: spock says the ships broken because miss alien here doesnt want us to go away
• alien: [hisses] what the fuck man maybe your ship's messed up huh
• kirk: what is this strange language they're speaking in
• mccoy: dammit i'm a doctor not a universal translator
• kirk: eh whatever it doesnt matter lets go explore hey u in the red shirt go over there i'll go over here
• ~red shirt dies~
• mccoy: hes dead jim can i go back now
• kirk: here we gather to mourn sir whats his face from sir planet who cares a lot. ok lets go
• alien: [hisses]
• kirk: hi
• alien: [hisses seductively]
• kirk: please do things against ur morals for me its for the good of gaykind
• alien: [hisses then dies]
• kirk: thank u. ok scotty, beam us up
• scotty: aye aye scotch
• ~several minutes later~
• kirk: ah its good to be back in the chair alive and well im glad no one died and
• mccoy: can i leave now
• spock: illogical
• mccoy: hobgoblin
• spock: emotional man
• mccoy: ur dumb
• spock: illogical
• kirk: now pls play nice boys this is my dramatic zoom up time
• uhurua: i miss the tribbles
• chekov: i miss russia
• sulu: i miss my plants